Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
