So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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