She tied me up with her honor cords...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
