I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
