I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
