So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
