Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
