I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize