Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
