Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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