He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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