we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
