:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
