Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
