I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize