Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
