just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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