SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
