Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
