He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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