Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
