she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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