He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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