It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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