If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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