Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
