U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
