What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
