Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
