69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
