I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
