i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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