she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
