Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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