one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
