So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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