i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
