I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
