yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
