I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
