The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
