Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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