If i come over, it means nothing
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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