And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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