my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize