belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
