summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
