Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
