are you so shy because you have an std?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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