so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
