I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
