the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
