No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize