so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
