the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
