East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
