friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
