worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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