at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Shame - the story of my life.
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