If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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