yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
